Saturday, November 29, 2014

My Support

"Life is a wall, you have to climb it by pushing others to climb over and you will be pushed as well." - Bernard Kelvin Clive

            Not too long ago, a friend of mine who is also a writer was surprised to hear that many of my friends and family members read my blog. She was even more surprised when I told her that they read most of what I write. My mom will read anything I let her, and would read more if she could. My best friend has probably read almost everything I’ve ever written. And then of course, there’s my writing friend who meets with me often so we can critique each other’s work. I have a lot of support when it comes to my writing. My writing friend let me know that not everyone has that much support when it comes to their passions in life, and that I am lucky. I don't think I'm lucky, but I am thankful.

            In the spirit of thankfulness, this year, aside from the usual being thankful for friends, family, and health, I’ve realized that I am most thankful for the amount of support I’ve had in my life, and not just for my writing. Those who know me well know that I’ve had many obstacles in my life. It hasn’t been an easy path, and they have pointed out to me that many who’ve gone through what I have can end up much worse.  I’ve chosen a good lifestyle to live, though definitely not perfect, but it’s not something I can take credit for. The biggest reason I’ve lived a good life is because of the amount and quality of support that has always been there.

            I have been broken. I have fallen hard. I have been depressed, wanted to escape, hated myself and others, cried myself to sleep, and felt completely alone. But the truth is, I’ve never been alone, ever. Growing up as an only child, I desperately wished for a twin who I could share everything with and who would completely understand me. Now by age 22, I’ve had several.

            There’s my best friend Melissa, who’s been there for me since the first grade. We’ve always had each other, and though we’ve fought like crazy, and even hate each other most of the time, we’ve never abandoned each other. Then there’s my other best friend Andrea, who now lives with me and takes over my room half of the time. She’s always been that friend who I can call any time of day or night and she will come no matter what. And my third best friend (promise only got three), Daniel, who always knows when I need a compliment and when to tell me how stupid boys are. He also lets me know how much I deserve, and still calls me fat (of course out of love). These three have been in my life from ten to sixteen years, and I love them for always being there for me and supporting me in everything I do.

            My family have always been a strong support in my life in many different ways. They talk to me, and listen. They tell me to pursue my dreams and praise me for how well I do. They are not always a positive encouragement, but their intentions are always from a caring place. My uncle Sammy has surprised me by his support for my writing in particular. For most of my life, he thought it was unrealistic for me to pursue writing, yet he's always told me to do what I love. Now, he shares my blog, and even encourages me with my writing. He’s also supported me in many other different ways, and been like another father to me (though I swear I have a whole family of parents). I’m very cared about in my family, like everyone else is, and I am so thankful to have a family that loves and supports me so much.

            I would write about how thankful I am for my parents’ support, but I wrote a whole essay about them last year that is still true today (What I'm Most Thankful For). Rather, I am most thankful for God. I’m not very good at leaning on God. I’m not very good with going to Him before making important decisions. And I’m definitely horrible at listening to Him. I’m still figuring out how to love God, how to give Him my troubles and the credit for my accomplishments. But in every place I fall short, I know, though may not fully comprehend, that God has loved me since before my parents even knew about me, loves me now, and will always love me in deep way that surpasses any human love. He is my biggest support, and His support is what I’m most thankful for.

            There are countless others who have supported me throughout my life, and they all mean so much to me, but to include all of them would make this blog infinite. I will add that it means so much to me to find out an old friend still reads what I write, and it means a lot whenever someone new also reads it.

            I am who I am today, in the place I am today, with a positive outlook on life and so much love I am overfilled, because of all the support and love I’ve always had. I am loved and I am thankful.

1 comment:

  1. who are you? your hair is ugly! and i dont even like you or ever talk about you!

    My beautiful are my heaven!